Let's Talk, Texas

Nothing is made until you order it. Production takes 2–5 business days, then delivery is a further 3–7 business days within the U.S.

Orders over $75 ship free; below that it's a flat $5.99, shown before you pay. We ship to U.S. addresses only right now.

If it arrives damaged, misprinted, or isn't what you ordered, we replace it free — no return shipping, no cost to you. Email us within 30 days with your order number and a photo.

What we can't do is take a change-of-mind return. Your shirt didn't exist before you bought it, so there's no stock for it to go back into. We'd rather say that plainly than bury it.

Take a shirt you already own and like the fit of, lay it flat, and measure the chest armpit-to-armpit. Match that against the sizing guide — it's the manufacturer's own numbers, pulled live, not a table we typed out once.

Between two sizes? Size up. And if you're unsure, ask us before you order rather than after.

Yes. You'll get a confirmation when you order and a tracking link by email the moment it ships.

If tracking stops moving or the parcel doesn't turn up, tell us — if the carrier confirms it's lost, we replace it at no cost.

Designed in Texas and printed to order in the United States by our print partner, who ships it straight to you. Nothing sits in a warehouse waiting.

No. They're commentary and satire, offered as expression, and they aren't affiliated with, endorsed by, or connected to any candidate, campaign, party, officeholder or public figure.